Developing your people skills will lead to greater success

People skills:


According to the Portland Business Journal, people skills are described as: understanding ourselves and moderating our responses talking effectively and empathizing accurately building relationships of trust, respect and productive interactions.


A British definition is “the ability to communicate effectively with people in a friendly way, especially in business”people skills


Successful people usually have great people skills, especially people in leadership and management roles. Effective communication is often a big challenge in business no matter what the company. Developing great people skills will assist you in communicating and understanding the employees or customers you are trying to lead/manage. We are talking in a business context but good people skills transcends business, social and personal relationships. People skills are also known as soft skills, life skills or interpersonal skills. It’s unfortunate that most individuals don’t invest time in developing these skills when they are equally as important as product knowledge and education. Here are a few tips to improve your people skills:


Learn to Listen


Listening is different from hearing, listening involves understanding non-verbal communication and verbal communication.


“Listening is key to all effective communication, without the ability to listen effectively messages are easily misunderstood – communication breaks down and the sender of the message can easily become frustrated or irritated.”
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When you genuinely value people’s feelings and ideas, they will reciprocate and feel that they can trust you.
In our multi tasking world it’s so easy to become distracted, we are constantly checking notifications of the latest tweet or emails. How many meetings have you sat in and being checking your phone at the same time? Start paying your full attention to the situation you will be surprised what hidden agendas and opportunities you will spot!


Learn to Relax 

When we are nervous we tend to talk faster and fidget. Being tense is also visible in our body language which is a huge part of communication. These non-verbal signals can give clues and additional information and meaning over and above spoken (verbal) communication. You have to let your confidence shine through, make eye contact and smile.

Acquire a win – win attitude.


“We live in a very competitive society. There is almost always a winner and a loser. But this does not have to be. Especially, when it comes to business, you do not want your customers to feel that you sold them something they did not want. You want them to feel that they purchased a great product/service at a great value and that you helped them. Focus on converting every situations into a win – win for everyone involved and success will be the by-product.”



What are the signs of being stressed?

I believe in a healthy body, a healthy mind, the two are interlinked! With todays fast paced lifestyles, 24 hour communication, juggling the work/family balance has led to an increase in national stress levels. Experts call stress the ‘silent killer’ because we often ignore the signs our bodies are giving us until the result is a serious illness.anti stress ball

That’s not to say a challenge is a bad thing, we need to progress and grow, we do this by dealing with stressful situations and coming out the other side. However, what may be stressful to one person may minimally affect another–and vice versa. The reason: it is not the event which is stressful, but how we view and respond to the event that counts. This is good news, for while we often have little control over what happens to us, we do have choices in the way we view the circumstances, and by extension, how we react to them.

5 ways your body might be telling you that you are stressed!

1. Weekend Headaches – A sudden drop in stress can prompt migraines, says Todd Schwedt, MD, director of the Washington University Headache Centre. Stick closely to your weekday sleeping and eating schedule to minimize other triggers.

2. An achy mouth– A sore jaw can be a sign of teeth grinding, which usually occurs during sleep and can be worsened by stress, says Matthew Messina, DDS, a consumer advisor to the American Dental Association. Ask your dentist about a nighttime mouth guard—up to 70% of people who use one reduce or stop grinding altogether.

3. Odd Dreams – Dreams usually get progressively more positive as you sleep, so you wake up in a better mood than you were in when you went to bed, says Rosalind Cartwright, PhD, an emeritus professor of psychology at Rush University Medical Center. But when you’re stressed, you wake up more often, disrupting this process and allowing unpleasant imagery to recur all night. Good sleep habits can help prevent this; aim for 7 to 8 hours a night, and avoid caffeine and alcohol close to bedtime.

4. Acne Outbreak – Stress increases the inflammation that leads to breakouts, says Gil Yosipovitch, MD, a clinical professor of dermatology at Wake Forest University. Smooth your skin with a lotion containing skin sloughing salicylic acid or bacteria-busting benzoyl peroxide, plus a noncomedogenic moisturizer so skin won’t get too dry.

5. Tummy-aches – Anxiety and stress can cause stomach-aches, along with headaches, back-aches  and insomnia. One study of 1,953 men and women found that those experiencing the highest levels of stress were more than three times as likely to have abdominal pain as their more-relaxed counterparts.


There are many ways we can manage and deal with stress but the first step is to recognize it in the first place! Listen to your body and don’t ignore the signs of stress, you are just storing trouble for the future! My favourite way to deal with stress is to laugh, and laugh often!

Stress relief from laughter, Yes, No Joke!

Unleash the Power within 2013 with Tony Robbins

Just returned from another amazing “Unleash the Power Within” conference by Tony Robbins. Such an honor to be able to work with him and witness people’s amazing transformations right in front of your eyes. These 3 and a half day events are intense and really make powerful, lasting change possible. I thought I would dedicate this post to Tony and the amazing people who have attended his events both past and present; perhaps I will see you there in 2014?

Tony Robbins onstage at Unleash the Power within 2013 London

Tony Robbins top achievements:

  • Worked with over 3 million people from over 100 different countries – including Bill Clinton, Andre Agassi, Donna Karen & Hugh Jackman
  • Creator of the #1-selling personal and professional development system of all time
  • One of the “Top 50 Business Intellectuals in the World” –  Accenture
  • One of the “Top 200 Business Gurus” – Harvard Business Press
  • One of the “Top Six Business Leaders in the World” – American Express
  • A Top 100 Celebrity – Forbes
  • Best-selling author of Unlimited Power & Awaken the Giant Within
  • Featured in Time, Newsweek, Fortune, Forbes, Life, GQ, Vanity Fair, Business Week, Success magazines, CBS News, NBC News, ABC’s Prime Time Live, Fox News, CNN & more“The Bigger the Why – the Easier the How.”

UNLEASH THE POWER WITHIN is about not waiting any longer. It’s about seizing the power that is already within you and challenging you to lead a life of your own design, rather than one that’s been scripted by your environment, society or anyone else.


  • Break through the fears that hold you back (including unconscious fears).
  • Create momentum in your life to make difficult things become effortless.
  • Develop powerful new routines that create maximum energy, optimum health and peak vitality.
  • NEW! Implement a fail-safe system to ensure that you follow through long-term, especially when the demands, distractions and frustrations of life begin to vie for
    your focus.
  • NEW! Harness the key strategies for wealth creation, regardless of the economy
    or any other external forces.

Book here for Unleash the Power 2014 21-24 March London – Half price tickets until the end of May 2013!

My Favourite Tony Robbins Quotes:

“A real decision is measured by the fact that you’ve taken a new action. If there’s no action, you haven’t truly decided.”

Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives.

“We can change our lives. We can do, have, and be exactly what we wish.”  

“Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.”

“You see, it’s never the environment; it’s never the events of our lives, but the meaning we attach to the events – how we interpret them – that shapes who we are today and who we’ll become tomorrow.”

Read more quotes

Personal Empowering Questions

“Successful people ask better questions” this quote really resonates with me so here are my top personal empowering questions for you to ask yourself if you want to make lasting change in your life!

What am I doing today to get what I want?

Will this behavior move me towards what I want or am I settling?

How would the person I want to be doing the thing I am about to do?

How long can I hold the vision?

Who do I have to become to attract the success I want?

Am I willing to accept the consequences of not changing?

Who is in control?

Am I settling into motion the causes that will produce the effects I want or am I settling?

Am I willing to do whatever it takes?

What don’t I SEE?

Who am I working with to help me get to where I want to be in my life?

Who is on my team to show me the strategies to obtaining what I want?

How much time could I cut off my learning curve if I only had someone who could mentor and coach me and show me what I don’t know, or even better, who would show me what I don’t know that I don’t know ! ?

What decision could you make right now to move you closer to your goal?

What are you grateful in your life right now?

What am I committed to in my life right now?

What do you need to focus on right now?

Which emotions do you need to strengthen?

How could you enjoy this even more?

How could you create even more certainty right now?

What am I most happy about my life right now?

What am I excited about in my life right now?

What am I proud of in my life right now?

What am I grateful for in my life right now?

What am I enjoying most in my life right now?

What am I committed to in my life right now?

Who do I love? Who loves me?

Feel free to share some of your answers in the comments below!

Are you a ‘stressed out’ perfectionist?

Regular readers of the blog know I am a great believer in writing down and setting goals. I encourage you to dream big but setting yourself high goals and targets can often feel like you’re setting yourself up to fail.

You want to achieve your goals and be a better person than you were last year, but that often means getting fixated on being a perfectionist as well.  And therein lies the problem…

“Because it’s OK to struggle to reach your goals – it’s just that we often get really down and feel guilt or failure if we don’t reach them”.

Are you a ‘stressed out’ perfectionist?

Common traits of the perfectionist:perfection

  1. Shows excessive concern over small, everyday tasks
  2. Worries about others’ approval
  3. Frequently asks for extensions of deadlines
  4. Worries excessively about being a disappointment to others
  5. Over time, the trait can be identified by excessive levels of worry, depression, and sense of failure (even if the person is talented and competent).

A healthy level of perfectionism can be a good thing if it inspires us to achieve things we wouldn’t normally achieve, it can motivate us in the face of adversity. But it can also be a source for anxiety, stress and depression.

Sarah Edelman, psychologist and author of the book Change Your Thinking.

Sometimes it can actually be counter-productive, leading to procrastination and inaction, because people remain stuck on one particular task, trying to get it perfect and never moving on to the next task,” she says.

The road to success is full of twists and turns, it’s not a direct route! We learn from our mistakes, we have to be flexible to change and be open to opportunity. If a deadline for a goal is passed and not achieved review, refocus don’t beat yourself up. The only way to ‘fail’ is to give up! Recognise that the human condition is one of failings, weakness, deviations, imperfections, and mistakes; Be kind to yourself when you mess things up, it’s what makes us human! Remember to celebrate success, no matter how small!

No one said it would be easy, life is challenge thank God! It allows us to stretch and grow, it moulds us into a better person. If it was easy we would get bored.

Only dead fish swim with the stream – ‘live’ fish swim against the currents! Each flick of the fin makes us stronger!


Are you on track to achieving your dreams?

Wow its the start of May! May 1st is the 121st day of the year (122nd in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. There are 244 days remaining until the end of the year! If you are thinking ‘where is the year going’, sit back, take a breath and watch this video below. I am one of the elite Tony Robbins trainers and will be attending the amazing ‘Unleash the Power within’ May 10th – 13th in London. This 3 and half day event is often a life changing experience for people in the room. Unleash the Power Within is about unlocking and unleashing the forces inside you that can help you to break through any limit and create the quality of life that you desire and deserve.

It’s prompted me to post this video so you can take stock of the first months of the year. Make sure that you are on track to achieving whatever you set out to achieve when the year began! The secret to happiness is progress, are you making progress this year?

Is your vision strong enough to pull you everyday?

Have you got strong enough reasons to follow through?

Take the time to review and feel it!