Are you a ‘stressed out’ perfectionist?

Regular readers of the blog know I am a great believer in writing down and setting goals. I encourage you to dream big but setting yourself high goals and targets can often feel like you’re setting yourself up to fail.

You want to achieve your goals and be a better person than you were last year, but that often means getting fixated on being a perfectionist as well.  And therein lies the problem…

“Because it’s OK to struggle to reach your goals – it’s just that we often get really down and feel guilt or failure if we don’t reach them”.

Are you a ‘stressed out’ perfectionist?

Common traits of the perfectionist:perfection

  1. Shows excessive concern over small, everyday tasks
  2. Worries about others’ approval
  3. Frequently asks for extensions of deadlines
  4. Worries excessively about being a disappointment to others
  5. Over time, the trait can be identified by excessive levels of worry, depression, and sense of failure (even if the person is talented and competent).

A healthy level of perfectionism can be a good thing if it inspires us to achieve things we wouldn’t normally achieve, it can motivate us in the face of adversity. But it can also be a source for anxiety, stress and depression.

Sarah Edelman, psychologist and author of the book Change Your Thinking.

Sometimes it can actually be counter-productive, leading to procrastination and inaction, because people remain stuck on one particular task, trying to get it perfect and never moving on to the next task,” she says.

The road to success is full of twists and turns, it’s not a direct route! We learn from our mistakes, we have to be flexible to change and be open to opportunity. If a deadline for a goal is passed and not achieved review, refocus don’t beat yourself up. The only way to ‘fail’ is to give up! Recognise that the human condition is one of failings, weakness, deviations, imperfections, and mistakes; Be kind to yourself when you mess things up, it’s what makes us human! Remember to celebrate success, no matter how small!

No one said it would be easy, life is challenge thank God! It allows us to stretch and grow, it moulds us into a better person. If it was easy we would get bored.

Only dead fish swim with the stream – ‘live’ fish swim against the currents! Each flick of the fin makes us stronger!


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