How to feel confident at any time!

con·fi·dence

/ˈkänfidəns/

Noun The feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust: “we had every confidence in the staff”. The state of feeling certain about the truth of something.

Synonyms trust – faith – reliance – belief – credit – credence

What does confidence mean to you? Is it belief in yourself? Trust in others? Faith? Confidence can mean different things to different people but a lot of people ask me ‘how can I become more confident?’ or make statements such as ‘I haven’t got the confidence to do that’. Why haven’t we got confidence all the time? I wish I could promise that just by reading this blog article it will make you super confident, ‘building’ self confidence is a process and hopefully the following tips will help you on that journey to being confident all the time!

Where does lack of confidence come from?

Lack of confidence comes from our belief system, fear of being judged negatively and obsessing about what other people think.

You are the only one who knows everything about you and the only one who has full access to your thoughts, beliefs and real intentions.

If you want to feel confident all the time then your sense of self-worth should come from within instead of making it dependent on the other people you encounter.

When you start feeling unsure of yourself remember: we were all born with confidence, and we can all get it back if we learn to silence the thoughts that threaten it.

Know your strengths and weaknesses

List all the POSITIVE Beliefs about yourself (Things you are good at)

List all the NEGATIVE Beliefs about yourself (Things you are not good at)

Look at the positive beliefs and spend a few moments on each and remember the positive things that happened to lead you to hold on to these beliefs. Write them down……

Look at the negative beliefs and write down your top three..

Ask yourself:

1. Where did this belief come from?
2. Who gave me this belief?
3. How do I feel about this person that gave me this belief? Do I respect them? Are/were they always right?
4. What is this belief costing me on a daily basis?
5. What will ‘holding this belief’ mean for me in the long-term?
6. How will life be different if I let this go of this belief?

As you learn who you are, you gain confidence in your strengths and also learn your weaknesses. ~Angela Birt

Learning who you are doesn’t happen overnight but you have to start challenging negative beliefs that could potentially be holding you back. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, once you know what these are you can work on improving your weaknesses and playing to your strengths. Do not let the past define you!

Confidence comes not from knowing you know everything, but from knowing you can handle what comes up. ~Donn King

Empowering questions

If someone criticizes you, take it is an opportunity to improve. If someone does better than you, see it as an opportunity to learn from them. If you fall short at something, realize you can get closer next time. Don’t worry if you’re not confident in what you can do now—be confident in your potential.

• What have I learnt from this situation?
• What will I do differently in the future?
• What resources do I need to achieve it?
• How will I know I have achieved it?

RECOMMENDED READING

Feel the Fear and Do it anyway– Susan Jeffers

Guide to Super Confidence– Dawn Breslin

Change your Life in & days– Paul Mckenna

The Passion Test – Janet bray Attwood

Sat nav for the Soul– Susie Mitchell – now available from Amazon and on Kindle!