How good are you at building rapport ?

Rapport skills enable you to put others at ease and create trust.

Mastery of rapport skills allow you to get on with anyone, anywhere, greatly increases your confidence and effectiveness and makes it easier for others to communicate with you.

Mastering the skill of building rapport requires sensory acuity and behavioral flexibility on your behalf.

These are the only two limits to your ability to produce results in this area:

  • The degree to which you can perceive other’s postures, gestures and speech patterns and
  • The elegance with which you can match them in the dance of rapport.


The building blocks of matching are:

Body language

  • Posture
  • Weight distribution
  • Gestures – arms & hands, legs and feet.
  • Facial expressions
  • Eye Contact
  • Breathing rate

Voice Quality

  • Volume
  • Tone
  • Pitch
  • Temp
  • Sounds


Changes the other person’s behavior by getting them to follow your lead (e.g. leading them from slumping, into a more upright posture, or leading them from speaking quietly to speaking more loudly). This is the one test that you do have rapport.

Having rapport and being able to lead others, makes it easier to achieve mutually desired outcomes, such as reaching agreement. It also allows you to take responsibility for the outcome of all interactions. It is however, a choice.

There may be some people with whom you would choose not to be in rapport with. We call this mismatching.



Allows you to break rapport, to interrupt or to avoid communication. To mismatch, simply alter your body and/or voice to make them different from the other person’s. This will subtly and unconsciously interrupt the flow of communication giving you the chance to re-direct the interaction. (NB- if rapport is well established, you may find the other person follows your behavior as you mismatch- so in effect – you are leading them!- if this happens you’ll have to keep changing your behavior until they cease to follow you!)


General Points about Rapport

  • The dance of rapport is what we do naturally
  • It allows you to join the other person in their model of the world
  • Rapport needs flexibility of thought and behavior
  • Notice what happens when people get on well- they tend to match
  • Notice the opposite, when people are in disagreement they mismatch
  • Notice when you are not getting on well with someone and try matching
  • Make it easy for others to communicate with you by practicing rapport
  • Liking the other person is not a prerequisite for rapport


If you look up the word ‘ rapport ‘ in the dictionary, it means the presence of harmony, trust and cooperation in a relationship. It is an important skill to master not only in business but all relationships in your life!




Why Books are important to read

I am a self-confessed book-a-holic, I love to read, I listen to audio books in the car while traveling; in fact my car is a driving university! I read biographies, motivational books, self-help books, how-to books, anything that I think can help me.Bookworm

Reading is a great way for anyone to better themselves.  In this digital information age we have become very good at scanning web pages and documents and picking out the bits we think we need to understand. But how much of this can we really take in? Video /  Television are great learning tools but they paint the picture for us, they don’t allow us to use our imagination. Books exercise the creative part of our brains!

By reading books and exposing yourself to different writers you will increase your vocabulary, you will become exposed to new words that you would not come into contact with. “When reading, even when we may not understand every new word, we absorb something from the context that may deepen our understanding of it the next time the word is encountered.”

Reading fiction books increase the creativity in the brain, especially at a young age. This is beneficial because creative people are able to solve business problems, write books and music, and create scientific advances that can aid humanity.

Reading helps to increase your attention span and improves your memory, it helps keep the brain active. Brains are like muscle, use it or lose it!

Your life will be better if you just spend an hour a day reading a book. Turn off your computer, turn off your phone. Disconnect yourself.

Visit my book list for 2013

What book have you read that has Inspired you or given you some form of idea to transform something of your life???

The traits of a marketing entrepreneur – are you one?

Marketing is one of the most important activities in any business, large businesses dedicate full departments to it. For small businesses its more of a challenge as you have to be the marketing department, the sales department, customer service department and delivery department all rolled up into one! But there is more to marketing than just advertising, an integrated marketing plan should affect all areas of your business, a marketing entrepreneur understands this!marketing



  • Take consistent Massive Action!
  • Attitude of mindset Not afraid to fail
  • Marketing mastery You must get good at it.
  • Immunity to criticism ‘force shields’ and Rhino skin

Being flexible Change IS going to happen-be prepared


The Marketing Wheel

  • Social Media – Facebook, LinkedIn, Blogs, and Twitter  
  • Internet – website, campaigns, affiliates.
  • PR
  • Testimonials
  • Networking
  • Radio/TV 
  • Customer service
  • Business Culture
  • Events
  • Environment


Christina Richardson makes an excellent point in the blog post “Marketing” encompasses everything that touches your customer

“However, I subscribe to a different point of view, one that is borne out of my marketing training in some of the most successful branded businesses in the world. In the fast-moving consumer goods industry (FMCG), those in marketing do “brand management” — they run the brand like a little business.

This means that they manage every aspect of the brand — the pricing, how it looks, what it is called, how it tastes/works and the communications about it. Subscribing to this school of thought defines marketing as encompassing every part of your business or product that touches your customer or consumer.”


To improve your marketing and become a marketing entrepreneur I recommend you read the following books:

The Purple Cow- Seth Goodwin

Amazon book description – “You’re either a Purple Cow or you’re not. You’re either remarkable or invisible. Make your choice.

 What do Apple, Starbucks, Dyson and Pret a Manger have in common? How do they achieve spectacular growth, leaving behind former tried-and-true brands to gasp their last? The old checklist of P’s used by marketers – Pricing, Promotion, Publicity – aren’t working anymore. The golden age of advertising is over. It’s time to add a new P – the Purple Cow.

 Purple Cow describes something phenomenal, something counterintuitive and exciting and flat-out unbelievable. In his new bestseller, Seth Godin urges you to put a Purple Cow into everything you build, and everything you do, to create something truly noticeable. It’s a manifesto for anyone who wants to help create products and services that are worth marketing in the first place.”

The Long Trail – Chris Anderson

Amazon Book description: “The Long Tail” is a powerful new force in our economy: the rise of the niche. As the cost of reaching consumers drops dramatically, our markets are shifting from a one-size-fits-all model of mass appeal to one of unlimited variety for unique tastes. From supermarket shelves to advertising agencies, the ability to offer vast choice is changing everything, and causing us to rethink where our markets lie and how to get to them. Unlimited selection is revealing truths about what consumers want and how they want to get it, from DVDs at Netflix to songs on iTunes to advertising on Google.

However, this is not just a virtue of online marketplaces; it is an example of an entirely new economic model for business, one that is just beginning to show its power. After a century of obsessing over the few products at the head of the demand curve, the new economics of distribution allow us to turn our focus to the many more products in the tail, which collectively can create a new market as big as the one we already know.”

Hypnotic Writing – Joe Vitalie

“Discover the secrets of written persuasion! “The principles of hypnosis, when applied to copywriting, add a new spin to selling. Joe Vitale has taken hypnotic words to set the perfect sales environment and then shows us how to use those words to motivate a prospect to take the action you want. This is truly a new and effective approach to copywriting, which I strongly recommend you learn. It′s pure genius.”

Reinventing Interactive and Direct marketing – Stan Rob

Attract New Customers and Exceed Revenue Goals with iDirect Marketing!

“A simple concept ties this incredibly useful book together. Every marketer now is a iDirect marketer. You ignore this concept, and this book, at your own peril.”
Al Ries, author of War in the Boardroom

“How do you get your brand heard, trusted, and remembered? The answer is in the confluence of digital and direct to form a torrent of minimal cost/maximal result opportunities. Rapp’s vision of an iDirect future and the insights of the book’s contributors put marketing supremacy in your grasp.”
Tim Suther, SVP, Acxiom Global Multichannel Marketing Services





Developing your people skills will lead to greater success

People skills:


According to the Portland Business Journal, people skills are described as: understanding ourselves and moderating our responses talking effectively and empathizing accurately building relationships of trust, respect and productive interactions.


A British definition is “the ability to communicate effectively with people in a friendly way, especially in business”people skills


Successful people usually have great people skills, especially people in leadership and management roles. Effective communication is often a big challenge in business no matter what the company. Developing great people skills will assist you in communicating and understanding the employees or customers you are trying to lead/manage. We are talking in a business context but good people skills transcends business, social and personal relationships. People skills are also known as soft skills, life skills or interpersonal skills. It’s unfortunate that most individuals don’t invest time in developing these skills when they are equally as important as product knowledge and education. Here are a few tips to improve your people skills:


Learn to Listen


Listening is different from hearing, listening involves understanding non-verbal communication and verbal communication.


“Listening is key to all effective communication, without the ability to listen effectively messages are easily misunderstood – communication breaks down and the sender of the message can easily become frustrated or irritated.”
Find more at:
When you genuinely value people’s feelings and ideas, they will reciprocate and feel that they can trust you.
In our multi tasking world it’s so easy to become distracted, we are constantly checking notifications of the latest tweet or emails. How many meetings have you sat in and being checking your phone at the same time? Start paying your full attention to the situation you will be surprised what hidden agendas and opportunities you will spot!


Learn to Relax 

When we are nervous we tend to talk faster and fidget. Being tense is also visible in our body language which is a huge part of communication. These non-verbal signals can give clues and additional information and meaning over and above spoken (verbal) communication. You have to let your confidence shine through, make eye contact and smile.

Acquire a win – win attitude.


“We live in a very competitive society. There is almost always a winner and a loser. But this does not have to be. Especially, when it comes to business, you do not want your customers to feel that you sold them something they did not want. You want them to feel that they purchased a great product/service at a great value and that you helped them. Focus on converting every situations into a win – win for everyone involved and success will be the by-product.”


Negotiation and influencing in Sales

Influencing and negotiating are things we all try to do all the time. For instance, we want to influence our children to behave according to codes and values we feel are appropriate or we want our partners to choose the holiday we want. In business and especially sales we need to master the act of negotiation and should always be looking to improve this skill.

Negotiation and Influencing

Modern influencing is an art form, it should be executed with grace and elegance!

When you influence someone – what you are actually doing is getting them to see it from your point of view. When someone agrees with you, they are much more likely to follow your request/instructions.

1st step – is to think ‘How will this benefit them?

2nd step- Find their ‘hot button’– finding out what their ‘motivation to buy’ is key to your sales success.

3rd step- Find their wants and needs. (Wants are what drives a person –  needs are their emotional reasons for buying.)

4th step- Find their pain. (What would be the consequence if they did not take you up on your offer?) When they associate more pain to not doing something, (i.e. they may lose out, fear of loss) – they are more likely to buy.

Master your beliefs. It’s virtually impossible to influence someone if you do not fully believe in your product /service 100%- it comes across!

Everyone has it within them to become a master of influence.

Always make it a win – win for each party involve.

Confidence is a must!

I think this great info-graphic from University of Kent sums up influencing.



Please help me in 2013 and answer the following question in the comments below, I will be collecting your answers!
What phrases or quotes have you heard that has had an impact in your life?