Ways to live your best life!

Following on from last weeks blog post “How to feel confident all the time” I wanted to take a look at someone who is the definition of oporahconfident, Oprah Winfrey. The success Oprah enjoys today has come from many years of hard work, dedication and overcoming adversity. According to wikipedia “Winfrey was born into poverty in rural Mississippi to a teenage single mother and later raised in an inner-city Milwaukee neighborhood. She experienced considerable hardship during her childhood, saying she was raped at age nine and became pregnant at 14; her son died in infancy”. After overcoming these very painful personally challenges Oprah is now “ranked the richest African-American of the 20th century, the greatest black philanthropist in American history, and was for a time the world’s only black billionaire. She is also, according to some assessments, the most influential woman in the world.”

Who better to inspire us to live our best life, here are Oprah’s top tips:

  • What you put out comes back all the time, no matter what.
  • You define your own life. Don’t let other people write your script.
  • Whatever someone did to you in the past, has no power over the present. Only you give it power.
  • What you believe has more power that what you dream or wish or hope for. You become what you believe.
  • Worrying is wasted time. Use the same energy for doing something about whatever worries you.
  • If the only prayer you say is thank you that will be enough.
  • The happiness you feel is in direct proportion to the love you give.
  • Trust your instincts. Intuition does not lie.
  • Let passion drive your profession.
  • Love doesn’t hurt. It feels really good.
  • Every day brings a chance to start over.
  • When you don’t know what to do. Get still. The answer will come.
  • Failure is a signpost to turn you in another direction.

STRATEGIES FOR RESOURCEFULNESS

If you are worried about a situation, ask yourself:

What’s the worst thing that can happen?

Is it really so bad?  It usually isn’t.

Seek out people who make you feel good, relaxed and resourceful.

Read a book that is inspiring.

Refuse to read bad news during a negative period.

Write a list of all the things which are good in your life, then compare it with the ‘problem’. See how insignificant the problem seems.

Watch a film that helps you get in a positive state.

If you have kids, play games with them.

If you don’t have kids, pretend your one!

Go somewhere, which inspires you.

Meditate.

Ask someone for a hug.

Read a funny story before you go to bed.

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How to feel confident at any time!

con·fi·dence

/ˈkänfidəns/

Noun
  1. The feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust: “we had every confidence in the staff”.
  2. The state of feeling certain about the truth of something.
Synonyms
trust – faith – reliance – belief – credit – credence

What does confidence mean to you? Is it belief in yourself? Trust in others? Faith? Confidence can mean different things to different peopleThe power of incantations and positive self talk but a lot of people ask me ‘how can I become more confident?’ or make statements such as ‘I haven’t got the confidence to do that’. Why haven’t we got confidence all the time? I wish I could promise that just by reading this blog article it will make you super confident, ‘building’ self confidence is a process and hopefully the following tips will help you on that journey to being confident all the time!

Where does lack of confidence come from?

Lack of confidence comes from our belief system, fear of being judged negatively and obsessing about what other people think.

You are the only one who knows everything about you and the only one who has full access to your thoughts, beliefs and real intentions.

If you want to feel confident all the time then your sense of self-worth should come from within instead of making it dependent on the other people you encounter.

When you start feeling unsure of yourself remember: we were all born with confidence, and we can all get it back if we learn to silence the thoughts that threaten it.

Know your strengths and weaknesses

List all the POSITIVE Beliefs about yourself (Things you are good at)

List all the NEGATIVE Beliefs about yourself (Things you are not good at)

Look at the positive beliefs and spend a few moments on each and remember the positive things that happened to lead you to hold on to these beliefs. Write them down……

Look at the negative beliefs and write down your top three..

Ask yourself:

  1. Where did this belief come from?
  2. Who gave me this belief?
  3. How do I feel about this person that gave me this belief? Do I respect them? Are/were they always right?
  4. What is this belief costing me on a daily basis?
  5. What will ‘holding this belief’ mean for me in the long-term?
  6. How will life be different if I let this go of this belief?

As you learn who you are, you gain confidence in your strengths and also learn your weaknesses. ~Angela Birt

Learning who you are doesn’t happen overnight but you have to start challenging negative beliefs that could potentially be holding you back. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, once you know what these are you can work on improving your weaknesses and playing to your strengths. Do not let the past define you!

Confidence comes not from knowing you know everything, but from knowing you can handle what comes up. ~Donn King

Empowering questions

If someone criticizes you, take it is an opportunity to improve. If someone does better than you, see it as an opportunity to learn from them. If you fall short at something, realize you can get closer next time. Don’t worry if you’re not confident in what you can do now—be confident in your potential.

  • What have I learnt from this situation?
  • What will I do differently in the future?
  • What resources do I need to achieve it?
  • How will I know I have achieved it?

RECOMMENDED READING

Feel the Fear and Do it anyway– Susan Jeffers

Guide to Super Confidence– Dawn Breslin

Change your Life in & days– Paul Mckenna

The Passion Test – Janet bray Attwood

Sat nav for the Soul– Susie Mitchell – now available from Amazon and on Kindle!