Using Emotional intelligence to progress towards your goals

I would like to introduce the concept of Emotional intelligence:

Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify, assess, and control the emotions of oneself, of others, and of groups. Wikipedia

Q.   Would you like to be more effective in your work and in your personal life?

Q.   Would you like to be able to better understand what you are feeling and why?

Q.   Would you like to be able to participate more consciously in what you feel and how you respond, rather than just reacting in the same old patterns that you always have?

Q.   Would you like to be able to better monitor and motivate your progress toward short / long term goals?

emotional intelligence

Emotional Intelligence helps us:-

  • Be Happier
  • Motivate ourselves
  • Manage stress in our lives
  • Resolve conflict with others
  • It determines how well we are listened to
  • Gives us skills to be able to encourage, comfort, discipline and confront in different situations

To introduce this topic we need to discuss Emotions..


  • Are about what we ‘touch’, – not just with hands, with eyes, ears, taste, smells..
  • Are about what we touch with our imagination – from fear to success
  • Are what moves us and motivates us
  • Are what sustain us through struggles to our victories

So what it comes down to it – anything we do , anything we think, – there is always a feeling  involved- something we are avoiding or something we want and moving towards.

Fear and Desire are our two strongest and most powerful emotions.

People either invest time, energy, and resources moving ‘towards’ or ‘away’ from something they find enjoyable, or something they wish to avoid. The something is our values, which we use to judge whether an action is good or bad.

E.g. – Health– Can we remember when we started an exercise regime or a diet? Do you remember we are all gung-ho and fired up at the beginning- doing really well for a while, then lost momentum- the weight stopped going down- or creeping up! You lost your focus- then you would get motivated, only to lose to again..- Ahhgh- you say- primarily with this – you are ‘moving away’ – (from the pain of carrying too much weight, lack of energy again..)

Whereas, if you are drawn toward a goal, you are able to keep your eye on the target

People with ‘away from ‘patterns will tend to appear quite negative, and have a tendency to see ‘what can go wrong’. They will use words like- avoid, remove, prevent, and ‘get rid of’, solution..

People with ‘towards ‘ patterns tend to be more positive, and always see the good in things- i.e. What’s possible…- they use words like- accomplish, get, obtain, have, achieve, attain, include.

Our feeling responses are grounded in our biochemistry. There is a ‘transformative link’ from mind to body. (Candace Pert-Molecules of Emotion Book- for more info)

The emotional circuits of the Brain also regulate two critical hormones- Cortisol and DHEA. Cortisol is known as the ‘stress hormone’- and under pressure it is over excreted and can have negative effects on our health. DHEA- is the anti-ageing hormone – because it counteracts the negative effects of cortisol that tend to wear the body out and therefore cause it to age.

The Heart also governs Emotional Intelligence.  It communicates to the rest of the body by producing mood-enhancing hormones.

Emotional states such as anger, sadness, depression and joy can be influenced and even directed by us.  Therefore using ‘practised exercises over time ‘we can change the way we feel about things. By using different ‘attitudinal lenses ‘, we can create a happier, positive, healthier life for ourselves.

In Part 2 we will look at how we can manage feelings/thoughts through our self-talk, focus and physiology.

Please help me in 2013 and answer the following question in the comments below, I will be collecting your answers!
What phrases do you use to make people feel more comfortable, motivated, and appreciated?

2 thoughts on “Using Emotional intelligence to progress towards your goals

  1. Pingback: Using Emotional intelligence to progress towards your goals Part 2 | Dr Susie Mitchell

  2. Pingback: 10 actions you need to do for yourself!! | Dr Susie Mitchell

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